Monday, November 12, 2007

the ancient paths

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." --Jeremiah 6:16

Went to a three day seminar in Spokane called the Ancient Paths with Joan, Jamus, Joel, and David.
I came back feeling like I'd shed a veil of gloom on the windows of my spirit. I think the others felt the same.
Jamus unburies something dark and grievous and for the first time in my life I begin to understand why I survived what I did: I can offer compassion and understanding on a level that many can't.
Joanie trembles under the weight of her burdens and we wonder why it took so long and lavish all the love we can muster on her.
David sniffs (as stoically as a guy who's about to cry can) and I'm so so proud of him.
"Hey, princess." Joel says, and his face is open and beautiful.
I am so glad we got to walk that path together.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Celestial Sorrow


Soft tears fall like stars
Born of fire and of ice
Burning and drowning

Will the rain cease or follow? Who cares about tomorrow! Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

"i had an apostrophe"

“When love beckons to you follow him,
"Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinion may wound you.
And when he speaks to you belive in him.
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.” -Gibran (The Prophet, On Love)

I'm swinging back and forth and exhilaration soars in my veins with each forward plunge. Just a little farther and maybe I'll fly away...! But gravity (reality) kicks in (did it exist before?) and the only thing that flies away is hope.
The Appearing has put a lot of emphasis on the importance of childlike faith lately and it has really brought to surface some things I have not considered before.
I miss the exuberant childlove (without guile or expectation) I would feel when sitting in my grandfather's lap. Where I, at the age of five, would look at him and my heart would swell so big the only way I could think of to staunch that bursting feeling was to kiss him on the forehead.
I remember when I could play on a swing set for hours, never bored with that repetitive motion, unheeding of how pointless such an action might be. But after all this discussion about childlike faith I had an apostrophe (film reference, don't bother correcting me) and realized that it isn't really futile to do something like that if it brings you pleasure...
I want that feeling back.
I want to return to that place.